Am I worth it ?

There are some things that are bound to change, once you land up with an IT job.

The Calls!
From the credit cards, to Personal loans to Holidaying, to all those pleasures yonder, that I was always mesmerised with, ever since I was a child.

So the Transition, all of a sudden I become Credit Worthy.
I remember The advertisement, "When You have power it shows", but the point is, am I actually that potent enough?

Change is inevitable they say, and all of a sudden I feel lost , as if I have a mixed identity,I am expected to maintain a professional demeanour,dress uncomfortably (With what sounds stuffy to me), and most of all think before I speak.
I can no longer bargain for the prices that I pay to my grocery store, for he would say,"kya Madam, itna to kamati ho..", just then I am tempted to tell him , how grilling a day @Work can get sometimes.You miss your family, your friends ,your manager literally threatens life out of you,people find loopholes in your code,you are in tears, but you still have to work!

Sometimes when I walk by those golgappa walls in the street, I m tempted to stop by and treat my tastebuds, and just then I look around, considering, ok, what if I could have it as a take away.I see small dirty toddlers playing in sand and mud and rain and heat, and I am tempted to play with them.I am tired of having to speak with an feigned content in my conversations , of having to maintain distance with my maids.

Sometimes I just want to tell people that I am the same person I used to be ,just that in this "Me vs Myself", both these identities tear each other down, and left is an entity , wanting to be left all by itself.