Be it anything, It has to grow!
Sometimes I sit and wonder, does anyone read my blog after all, is there any difference between ‘My diary’ and this blog. And pop comes the answer, this blog means commitment to me, of having to let others know, what I have learnt all this while. Well I am not altruist, in fact before I plunge into something, I think about the ROI, so here my ROI is in abstract terms, yet is treasured by me, in not-so-absolute terms.
I keep reading about wonderful men and women, and tend to question myself, what it takes to get there, ‘education’ being the basic, but I firmly believe more than that it takes a vision to get there, for education is just a means of pursuing that vision.
Infact I was reading about Amrit Singh yesterday, the P’s daughter. Now that is one thing, had she performed so well in India, we would move raised brows over her mettle, For ‘they” say about India, if your dad is remotest-tly connected to politics, he would get you There .But having proven your mettle abroad, is another thing. Hats off to you lady!
I somehow believe God tried to do justice, so he made us all different, filled with extreme talent, passion and qualities, only that we as humans still need to polish it. But more importantly and sadly, we do not know our selves so well, and that is precisely why we try to discover ourselves around every where but within.
The bottom line, the more self aware one is, more are the chances of him expanding his knowledge base, and most of all using this knowledge base, to plot it to the Johari Window, and find that one thing in life which will drive him for the rest of life.
Your brain, has to expand, ultimately it will reach the ‘big bang’ when you will realize you understand the things around better.
Look at it this way; to be where you are now, you have to keep running. Run...
Stay hungry, Stay Foolish…
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Am I worth it ?
There are some things that are bound to change, once you land up with an IT job.
The Calls!
From the credit cards, to Personal loans to Holidaying, to all those pleasures yonder, that I was always mesmerised with, ever since I was a child.
So the Transition, all of a sudden I become Credit Worthy.
I remember The advertisement, "When You have power it shows", but the point is, am I actually that potent enough?
Change is inevitable they say, and all of a sudden I feel lost , as if I have a mixed identity,I am expected to maintain a professional demeanour,dress uncomfortably (With what sounds stuffy to me), and most of all think before I speak.
I can no longer bargain for the prices that I pay to my grocery store, for he would say,"kya Madam, itna to kamati ho..", just then I am tempted to tell him , how grilling a day @Work can get sometimes.You miss your family, your friends ,your manager literally threatens life out of you,people find loopholes in your code,you are in tears, but you still have to work!
Sometimes when I walk by those golgappa walls in the street, I m tempted to stop by and treat my tastebuds, and just then I look around, considering, ok, what if I could have it as a take away.I see small dirty toddlers playing in sand and mud and rain and heat, and I am tempted to play with them.I am tired of having to speak with an feigned content in my conversations , of having to maintain distance with my maids.
Sometimes I just want to tell people that I am the same person I used to be ,just that in this "Me vs Myself", both these identities tear each other down, and left is an entity , wanting to be left all by itself.
The Calls!
From the credit cards, to Personal loans to Holidaying, to all those pleasures yonder, that I was always mesmerised with, ever since I was a child.
So the Transition, all of a sudden I become Credit Worthy.
I remember The advertisement, "When You have power it shows", but the point is, am I actually that potent enough?
Change is inevitable they say, and all of a sudden I feel lost , as if I have a mixed identity,I am expected to maintain a professional demeanour,dress uncomfortably (With what sounds stuffy to me), and most of all think before I speak.
I can no longer bargain for the prices that I pay to my grocery store, for he would say,"kya Madam, itna to kamati ho..", just then I am tempted to tell him , how grilling a day @Work can get sometimes.You miss your family, your friends ,your manager literally threatens life out of you,people find loopholes in your code,you are in tears, but you still have to work!
Sometimes when I walk by those golgappa walls in the street, I m tempted to stop by and treat my tastebuds, and just then I look around, considering, ok, what if I could have it as a take away.I see small dirty toddlers playing in sand and mud and rain and heat, and I am tempted to play with them.I am tired of having to speak with an feigned content in my conversations , of having to maintain distance with my maids.
Sometimes I just want to tell people that I am the same person I used to be ,just that in this "Me vs Myself", both these identities tear each other down, and left is an entity , wanting to be left all by itself.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Kiss: Keep it simple, stupid !
Sometimes some conversations really get on your head, and how so ever may you try to forget them, they keep coming back to you.
I read the ‘joining the dots “ by Steve Jobs, and since then, I am far more convinced and optimistic that everything happens for a reason,only that you can “connect” it really later in your life.
I remember this small tete-a-tete I once had a friend over coffee, “So what is the purpose of life, an IT job that pays well, a Maruti an year from now, an onsite trip two years hence, a Honda City 10 years from now, and if everything goes well, may be a Hummer, or a Mercedes Benz. “
So while I walk around the magniloquent corridors, a pause to think, what I am heading to, a 10-6 job, that pays well, but intellectually, the learning curve has a slope close to zero, may be I never crossed the threshold in the first place.
As I come back from work everyday, I am left exhausted, with my entire body drained out, till the next morning, as I leave for work, and lock my house. But somehow I have increasingly started to comfort myself, ”ok, not this evening, this one’s going to be the way, I want to mould it, but.. There is only “now”, and the “later”, never speaks for itself ”.So as I procrastinate, evenings after evenings, this dissatisfaction drenches me and I tend to question myself repeatedly, will I be where I want to , the helm of my career, when I grow 50? May be then I will forget what the first monsoon means, the parties on Fridays, may the board rooms will take over the goofy cubicle conversations, but if this be the life I want, and if I want it this bad, there is no way, I will not have it.
Think,Decide,Plan, and its already time to attack !
I read the ‘joining the dots “ by Steve Jobs, and since then, I am far more convinced and optimistic that everything happens for a reason,only that you can “connect” it really later in your life.
I remember this small tete-a-tete I once had a friend over coffee, “So what is the purpose of life, an IT job that pays well, a Maruti an year from now, an onsite trip two years hence, a Honda City 10 years from now, and if everything goes well, may be a Hummer, or a Mercedes Benz. “
So while I walk around the magniloquent corridors, a pause to think, what I am heading to, a 10-6 job, that pays well, but intellectually, the learning curve has a slope close to zero, may be I never crossed the threshold in the first place.
As I come back from work everyday, I am left exhausted, with my entire body drained out, till the next morning, as I leave for work, and lock my house. But somehow I have increasingly started to comfort myself, ”ok, not this evening, this one’s going to be the way, I want to mould it, but.. There is only “now”, and the “later”, never speaks for itself ”.So as I procrastinate, evenings after evenings, this dissatisfaction drenches me and I tend to question myself repeatedly, will I be where I want to , the helm of my career, when I grow 50? May be then I will forget what the first monsoon means, the parties on Fridays, may the board rooms will take over the goofy cubicle conversations, but if this be the life I want, and if I want it this bad, there is no way, I will not have it.
Think,Decide,Plan, and its already time to attack !
Atleast I know to Dream..
The other day, on my way back from Tirupati as I looked outside the window, as we were passing through the country side,and I see, young children bare footed,dressed in some robes, that one can vaguely call "Uniforms".And not for a moment did I realize how priviliged had I been.
I was born in a middle class, yet intellectually encouarging family,for my parents always celebrated "me", even though I was a "girl".So what's so special, these days you have all the parents wanting their progeny to out-do them at everything,and forge far ahead of them.
What has made my parents so special is the fact, that they have always stood by me,never made me realize that I was a "girl", and most of all, the independence we sibilings were given to experiment with our careers,with absolutely no ROI expected.
They have taught me to dream, and in this regard, I feel I m blessed enough, for I am never satisfied with whatever I might achieve.It's not humility,but the
dissatisfaction that arises from wanting to explore more, that keeps me "Geared".
So just when the bus passes, I feel helpless, and proud at the same time,for these children at the countryside might never know, where can one go, if one knows to dream.
Infact a friend of mine,suggested that I keep my blog "Anonymous", I thought about it, for quite a while, and settled with an understanding, that I am sure should make me sell my point well.
Accepted I can be truly myself, if that be the case, but I purport that 7 years down the line, when I log in at genispeaks, I will know I made some promises to myself , and to the Readers, who spend some odd 10-15 minutes reading these,and just then,
will this determination grow stronger,
"Who am I is not the question, but who I can be, should indeed be the answer.."
I was born in a middle class, yet intellectually encouarging family,for my parents always celebrated "me", even though I was a "girl".So what's so special, these days you have all the parents wanting their progeny to out-do them at everything,and forge far ahead of them.
What has made my parents so special is the fact, that they have always stood by me,never made me realize that I was a "girl", and most of all, the independence we sibilings were given to experiment with our careers,with absolutely no ROI expected.
They have taught me to dream, and in this regard, I feel I m blessed enough, for I am never satisfied with whatever I might achieve.It's not humility,but the
dissatisfaction that arises from wanting to explore more, that keeps me "Geared".
So just when the bus passes, I feel helpless, and proud at the same time,for these children at the countryside might never know, where can one go, if one knows to dream.
Infact a friend of mine,suggested that I keep my blog "Anonymous", I thought about it, for quite a while, and settled with an understanding, that I am sure should make me sell my point well.
Accepted I can be truly myself, if that be the case, but I purport that 7 years down the line, when I log in at genispeaks, I will know I made some promises to myself , and to the Readers, who spend some odd 10-15 minutes reading these,and just then,
will this determination grow stronger,
"Who am I is not the question, but who I can be, should indeed be the answer.."
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Identity Crisis!
The following are the lines from Madhushala
मदिरालय जाने को घर से चलता है पीनेवला,
'किस पथ से जाऊँ?' असमंजस में है वह भोलाभाला,
अलग-अलग पथ बतलाते सब पर मैं यह बतलाता हूँ
-'राह पकड़ तू एक चला चल, पा जाएगा मधुशाला।'।
How meaningful! I was simply mesmerised by the beauty of these lines.No wonder I am a poet myself.
It justifies the importance of independence and personal freedom and pursuing your dreams.
Sometimes I sit back and question myself "Who Am I ? " and more profoundly, " Who will I be in ten years from now " , only to realize that I am rendered speechless.
I did my graduation from a reputed institute, got a job that pays handsome amount of money , and then basking in this materialistic self satisfaction, I became over contended with myself and started celebrating the person I am. I stopped, stooped and when I woke up I realised that all this while I was wasting away my life.
I sit back and remember my mother, for it was to her, that "My competition was her competition ",and this is precisely why I grew on to become what I am,overcompetitive.But I guess in a sense that is very desirable part of the picture.
I was always into books, I keep reading the unconventional books.So there was this book I was reading, "what should I do with my life" , it sounded as though it was a mantra, which could spoon feed me, giving me precise objectives and ways to go about them.There was this line , that I am tempted to quote here. "It would be so great if one morning when you woke up, you found this letter, which told you what should you do with your life".
This same day I sat back for more than an hour with a piece of paper,(by the way, I write a lot too! ), to pen down what had I achieved these 23 odd years.
And trust me, I could not come out with anything that I could call as "My Own", something that would make my parents proud of me.
I had everything , I was ambitious,creative, intellgent and never shunned learning in its own right.No wonder righty is it said,"If you see no one in yourself, you will be no one for the rest of your life"
I was open to new ideas, always looking at new opportunities in the "Me Vs Myself",Only that it wasn't as fruitful as could have been.I have always been looking out for that "Message", which I think could tell me what should I do to myself.
If you look at all thes ucessful men and women around yourself , you will realize there's only one thing that takes them where they are.."Intelligence and devotion towards pursuing your dreams "
I realised that when you want to "Become Somebody" , you actually do not become "Anybody" , for one should know "Precisely" what one wants from life.
"Being a star may not be your goal, but being the best you can be is a goal you can set for yourself."
"Stay hungry ,Stay foolish"
मदिरालय जाने को घर से चलता है पीनेवला,
'किस पथ से जाऊँ?' असमंजस में है वह भोलाभाला,
अलग-अलग पथ बतलाते सब पर मैं यह बतलाता हूँ
-'राह पकड़ तू एक चला चल, पा जाएगा मधुशाला।'।
How meaningful! I was simply mesmerised by the beauty of these lines.No wonder I am a poet myself.
It justifies the importance of independence and personal freedom and pursuing your dreams.
Life is all about finding your love and the rest will follow.
Sometimes I sit back and question myself "Who Am I ? " and more profoundly, " Who will I be in ten years from now " , only to realize that I am rendered speechless.
I did my graduation from a reputed institute, got a job that pays handsome amount of money , and then basking in this materialistic self satisfaction, I became over contended with myself and started celebrating the person I am. I stopped, stooped and when I woke up I realised that all this while I was wasting away my life.
I sit back and remember my mother, for it was to her, that "My competition was her competition ",and this is precisely why I grew on to become what I am,overcompetitive.But I guess in a sense that is very desirable part of the picture.
I was always into books, I keep reading the unconventional books.So there was this book I was reading, "what should I do with my life" , it sounded as though it was a mantra, which could spoon feed me, giving me precise objectives and ways to go about them.There was this line , that I am tempted to quote here. "It would be so great if one morning when you woke up, you found this letter, which told you what should you do with your life".
This same day I sat back for more than an hour with a piece of paper,(by the way, I write a lot too! ), to pen down what had I achieved these 23 odd years.
And trust me, I could not come out with anything that I could call as "My Own", something that would make my parents proud of me.
I had everything , I was ambitious,creative, intellgent and never shunned learning in its own right.No wonder righty is it said,"If you see no one in yourself, you will be no one for the rest of your life"
I was open to new ideas, always looking at new opportunities in the "Me Vs Myself",Only that it wasn't as fruitful as could have been.I have always been looking out for that "Message", which I think could tell me what should I do to myself.
If you look at all thes ucessful men and women around yourself , you will realize there's only one thing that takes them where they are.."Intelligence and devotion towards pursuing your dreams "
I realised that when you want to "Become Somebody" , you actually do not become "Anybody" , for one should know "Precisely" what one wants from life.
If you see nobody in yourself, you will be nobody for the rest of your life..
Take a call as to what you intend your life to be.And keep working towards it.
"Being a star may not be your goal, but being the best you can be is a goal you can set for yourself."
"Stay hungry ,Stay foolish"
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