If common sense was so common!
1. Cheer someone up each day.
You would have probably heard it over a hundred times, but doing this will not only make someone feel wonderful as it sets their day, but also, they according to Newton’s Third law: “Every action Has an equal and opposite reaction” , love comes back. It sure does!
2. Say a thank you even to people who do what is expected of them as a chore.
Once I had urgently needed this passport photograph for my VTU form submission (I procrastinate a lot, anyway). The staff there was initially reluctant to make it, as that would require cancelling the printer queue and reinitiating it with the first entry as mine. So when he conceded to my demands, I closed the transaction with a heart felt thank you.
No matter what profession people are in, remember that they are individuals and that they deserve equal respect as you do.
3. Listen to people
Sometimes people just want to be heard. They might not want any help from you, monetary or otherwise. Your time is most valuable asset that you are investing in them. Just hear to what they have to say without any prejudice and skepticism. And please address them by their names. All that makes a difference is this.
Every conversation is about a relationship. Make it .
4. Value your own time and others
Time is the most valuable commodity that you have. Value it, preserve it, and especially when it is others, tell them that how obliged you are towards them for it.
5. Appreciate people
Appreciate people, be it their blue color shirt that you have been eyeing, or the help that they offered you out of the way.
There is a difference between genuine appreciation, and being sycophantic. Strike that difference for yourselves, for when you lie, it does no good, and people will catch you.
6. Happiness is like a radio station, stay tuned..
Being happy is the simplest thing on earth. Because when you are happy, your energy centre creates a space where people can identify what it feels to be in your company. If you can make others “Smell you” (Economic times, Paramahamsa Nithyananda), “People around you will welcome your presence as they feel centered around you, more peaceful, unstressed and relaxed. They would want to be with you. Let them smell you and find out “.
Smiling to yourself , is the best thing you can feed your mind with each day, condition it ! Be a butterfly.
You do not have to make others happy, make yourself selves happy first, and the rest shall follow...
7. If it's over, it should get out of your mind, and if it is not, you are probably doing injustice to yourself, by running through things that matter the least to you.
People just move on in their life, and you have probably not gotten over "what was said, or done". Do not do injustice to yourself by reminding yourself about the times you were hurt. Let them be milestones instead, that shape what "ELSE" can you achieve in life.."
Do not ever allow anyone, to surpass you, and break the faith you have in YOU. YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON OUT HERE, and keep reminding yourself about it, that is not to say show that off!! JUST care for YOURSELF :)
8. Substantiate what you say
Be one of those “I won’t take enough of your time, but I will leave you thinking for a while. “Because if you do not, chances are that you will be tagged with those “Chattu types”, and “Detailed bugger”. Respect your integrity, and stand by it.
Don’t divulge unnecessary details, and more so, no one is interested in what you think and say, you have to make it interesting.
9. Fight Fear and Greed, not yourself.
Find out what is it that is troubling you, better still WRITE IT, and once you find that, Shut your brains off! Go into hibernation mode, because once you go in the “Low Mode”, everything appears to be low in life.
Talk to an old friend, or browse through the old photo albums, do anything but think on what is troubling you.
10. Get high, get drunk!
Feel passionate about anything, but something, and put your heart in it. Be it sports, or dance, or your pet.
Have something that you truly care about, and let it be the be that you can back upon on a rainy day. Love gives you a reason to live, find this reason, your personal and customized reason.
Here's hoping, you find what you love :)
Stay Tuned ..
Cheers,
Ekta Grover
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Breaking the Bad habits..
Breaking the bad habits..
There are very few people, who haven’t browsed through a single ‘how to..’ book.
Like many others , I have read plenty of them too; How to live 24 hours a day, how to sleep less, and have more energy than you ever had before, how to quit coffee, how to find what you need in life bla..bla..
And then there was this book, I pounced upon in the library, ‘breaking the bad habits’. So, as the ritual went, I gave it a shot. If you have read this far, it implies, that you really want to do something about the quality of life that you are living. Below are the things that worked for me , it may not work for you, let me be truthful, because the very moment we see a change, we run away, or don’t pursue it, because we are afraid of the transformation, or the flip-flop this change will bring about.
The most important aspect of any positive change that you want to bring about in your life is ‘discipline’. No matter how hard you try, your inner self, which is reluctant to change, and is cozy with the older you, will keep poking into you, ‘This is not worth it. You should live the way you want to. You are FREE’.
There are many vital aspects of life, here I am taking the most important of these ‘Healthy living’.
Every morning, we practically compete for Olympics marathon, to board the shuttle, why, because if you miss it, you would have to go through the pain of, travelling in Bangalore traffic. So if you care so much for yourself, why not get up 5 minutes earlier? I would say, get up an hour earlier not just 5 minutes. Morning is the most wonderful time of the day, a time where a freshly manufactured day is lying ahead of you, wanting you to embrace it, but each morning you miss it under your cozy blanket , and sluggish laziness. Don’t get up an hour before all your life, just 7 days, and see the wonders it will do to your energy level. Why 7, because your body clock takes time to get used to your sleeping and activity patterns. What you do with this morning is upto you, you go for a jog, meditate, walk, an innocuous tete-a-tete with your parents, or spouse, or read newspaper, or finish your breakfast on the dining table. It may seem stupid, but all this actually gives you a sense of composure and stability.
Besides if you choose a morning walk, or jog over the rest, you have a windfall. Everyone knows the fitness aspect of it, but not everyone knows that just being exposed to sunlight, gives you tremendous amount of energy to keep you charged up. Why? Melatonin is a hormone in our body, that controls the amount of sleep, and is regulated by the amount of light available to you. Most of us, also are not aware that we are taking quantity sleep, and not quality sleep, which means that when you get up after the nap, you feel as if you have been drained out of energy while you were sleeping. You can probably relate to this, because chances are that you might have experienced it. So go grab, as much sunlight as you can, if you cannot make the morning walk, at least grab some in the afternoon! And no sunglasses please!
Now, what you dread the most! Food. I know by now , I have infuriated you enough , well, you want to change my thinking paatern,sleeping habits, and now even my eating habits ! This is too much. Well, this is because , you are what you eat. So when you experience that sluggishness and inability to concentrate ,an hour after your lunch, it is due to the fact that the body consumes a lot of energy, as the food passes through the alimentary canal for digestion. So you go garb that cup of coffee and you feel , alright I m ok now. What this coffee does to you is that , being a stimulant, it urges the body cells to release the energy that it stores in layers. So not only is your body theme perturbed by this sudden bust of energy, but because it mistakenly associates this energy, with your power of being able to concentrate more, you get used to it. Coffee actually makes your thinking more linear, saying it saps your ability to think, and track back to them. so get that out first! To begin with you can replace bournvita with coffee, keep one at your desk, and have it when you feel you cannot do away with the urge of coffee. Having wheat grass juice in the morning, is the perfect way to detoxify your body.
These 7 days, should you follow it, drink loads of water(everyone tells you that ),get enough sunlight, go for that jog, eat healthy and prefer fresh fruits and fiber, replace coffee with bournvita, and tea with herbal or tulsi tea, and when ever you feel that you cannot take this further, just remind yourself, that you are doing it only for 7 days , and count the residual days. If you feel, it does you good, you know what to do with it !
If you continue doing what you are doing, you will continue to get what you are getting.
Be the change you want.
Here's hoping all good things come to you ..
Amen...
Stay Tuned..
Cheers,
Ekta Grover
There are very few people, who haven’t browsed through a single ‘how to..’ book.
Like many others , I have read plenty of them too; How to live 24 hours a day, how to sleep less, and have more energy than you ever had before, how to quit coffee, how to find what you need in life bla..bla..
And then there was this book, I pounced upon in the library, ‘breaking the bad habits’. So, as the ritual went, I gave it a shot. If you have read this far, it implies, that you really want to do something about the quality of life that you are living. Below are the things that worked for me , it may not work for you, let me be truthful, because the very moment we see a change, we run away, or don’t pursue it, because we are afraid of the transformation, or the flip-flop this change will bring about.
The most important aspect of any positive change that you want to bring about in your life is ‘discipline’. No matter how hard you try, your inner self, which is reluctant to change, and is cozy with the older you, will keep poking into you, ‘This is not worth it. You should live the way you want to. You are FREE’.
There are many vital aspects of life, here I am taking the most important of these ‘Healthy living’.
Every morning, we practically compete for Olympics marathon, to board the shuttle, why, because if you miss it, you would have to go through the pain of, travelling in Bangalore traffic. So if you care so much for yourself, why not get up 5 minutes earlier? I would say, get up an hour earlier not just 5 minutes. Morning is the most wonderful time of the day, a time where a freshly manufactured day is lying ahead of you, wanting you to embrace it, but each morning you miss it under your cozy blanket , and sluggish laziness. Don’t get up an hour before all your life, just 7 days, and see the wonders it will do to your energy level. Why 7, because your body clock takes time to get used to your sleeping and activity patterns. What you do with this morning is upto you, you go for a jog, meditate, walk, an innocuous tete-a-tete with your parents, or spouse, or read newspaper, or finish your breakfast on the dining table. It may seem stupid, but all this actually gives you a sense of composure and stability.
Besides if you choose a morning walk, or jog over the rest, you have a windfall. Everyone knows the fitness aspect of it, but not everyone knows that just being exposed to sunlight, gives you tremendous amount of energy to keep you charged up. Why? Melatonin is a hormone in our body, that controls the amount of sleep, and is regulated by the amount of light available to you. Most of us, also are not aware that we are taking quantity sleep, and not quality sleep, which means that when you get up after the nap, you feel as if you have been drained out of energy while you were sleeping. You can probably relate to this, because chances are that you might have experienced it. So go grab, as much sunlight as you can, if you cannot make the morning walk, at least grab some in the afternoon! And no sunglasses please!
Now, what you dread the most! Food. I know by now , I have infuriated you enough , well, you want to change my thinking paatern,sleeping habits, and now even my eating habits ! This is too much. Well, this is because , you are what you eat. So when you experience that sluggishness and inability to concentrate ,an hour after your lunch, it is due to the fact that the body consumes a lot of energy, as the food passes through the alimentary canal for digestion. So you go garb that cup of coffee and you feel , alright I m ok now. What this coffee does to you is that , being a stimulant, it urges the body cells to release the energy that it stores in layers. So not only is your body theme perturbed by this sudden bust of energy, but because it mistakenly associates this energy, with your power of being able to concentrate more, you get used to it. Coffee actually makes your thinking more linear, saying it saps your ability to think, and track back to them. so get that out first! To begin with you can replace bournvita with coffee, keep one at your desk, and have it when you feel you cannot do away with the urge of coffee. Having wheat grass juice in the morning, is the perfect way to detoxify your body.
These 7 days, should you follow it, drink loads of water(everyone tells you that ),get enough sunlight, go for that jog, eat healthy and prefer fresh fruits and fiber, replace coffee with bournvita, and tea with herbal or tulsi tea, and when ever you feel that you cannot take this further, just remind yourself, that you are doing it only for 7 days , and count the residual days. If you feel, it does you good, you know what to do with it !
If you continue doing what you are doing, you will continue to get what you are getting.
Be the change you want.
Here's hoping all good things come to you ..
Amen...
Stay Tuned..
Cheers,
Ekta Grover
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Glimses of my work..
This is where I started from, poetry straight from the heart..
I sometimes, sit and wonder..Gosh I am so talented..sometimes the reaffirmation is so enthralling
~
ek
I sometimes, sit and wonder..Gosh I am so talented..sometimes the reaffirmation is so enthralling
~
ek
Monday, May 19, 2008
A mother in its own right..
She plays on my lap, playfully she rubs off my cheeks, sometimes, she fights with me, when I seem not to observe her delightful activities in the play ground.
I take her for an evening stroll, in her ‘princess trolley’, and as I call her ‘Vedika’, ‘Baby’, she turns back, and smiles at me, and I give her this little blowfish kiss and she returns one back to me.
So as I take her for this stroll in the society apartments, a question dawns to me, will I be able to afford all this for my kids? Will I be able to give them the club house, the basketball court, the swimming pool, the kindergarten, or if not, will they ask me why they do not live in the big apartments, where you have these immaculately dressed children, with the most colourful robes, most of them with their nannies.
And as I think all of this, I am touched, of what my parents have made me, ‘Responsible’, I think that is the legacy I cherish the most having had from my parents.
So as I struggle, as I have always been with ‘Who am I? “, I know that I will have to answer it, and I do not have much time, and it never seems enough.
So while I sit besides the swimming pool, with her on my lap, and my feet in the cold water, and as she struggles to let her free, I sit back and wonder, what will it be like, to have my own kids, to send them to school, to sit with them and help them with their homework, and knowing that whatever may I do, will never be enough.
But after a thoughtful debate of me Vs. myself, I am convinced, I would want to give my progeny a more precious legacy, an inheritance which my parents gave me, an inheritance of ‘belonging’, of knowing where you come from, and of knowing why we were sent to this earth. Of making those special years of life, all the more wonderful and telling them, that there are ‘second bests too’, and that nothing is absolutely wrong, even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Teach your children to fail, for every success is the revenge of failure. Let them be what they want to be, not what you always wanted to be and could never become, tell them that there are vocations besides doctors, engineers, and teach them to make mistakes, and laugh at them, for life does not come easy to all of us.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Sooner or later they will find you…
What it feels to have your lunch all by yourself on the first day at school!
I had this feeling, that someday, someone will observe me, and ask me to join them. That never really happened. Never in school, never in college, for if we have to make things work, we and we alone have to work towards it.
If you cannot take care of your baby, no one else will.
Born to working parents, whose job required of them to travel immensely, I practically spent half my life making friends, and the other half losing them;for I possibly changed around 9 or 10 schools in my entire Academics. Somehow the feeling of trying to mingle, and leaving behind an admired set of people never left me.
Someone who has faced it will tell you how ignominious and heart rendering it is. But things never really change. Be it school, where we kind of, find comfort in ‘herd’, or be it college where we do not wish to ‘stand out’., or be it any organisation for that matter, things never really change the human psychology. The basic human heart , the feeling of insecurity never really retreats.
And then comes another face, the job, where one seeks to find like minded people and people that can gel well with.
Look around for those subtle messages that life keeps throwing.
Life keeps throwing these messages all the while, just that like a band pass filter we tend to see things the way we want them to. If the Manager says, let’s meet after lunch, when did he say,’ You are performing bad, I want to kick you!’. Now don’t tell me your heart was not pounding after lunch.
As I grew, I really admired “unfreezing, changing , and refreezing “, concept a friend told me.
Standing in a BMTC bus, I see two kids, possibly the contenders for the dirtiest kids I had come across so far. The older girl is seated by the window and repeatedly strikes the younger girl with her elbow, as the younger one tries to grab a look from the window. The younger one looks irritated, and finally retorts back hitting. Now there are two ways any child would react, either she would cry and call the mum, or she will try to fight, completely aware that she cannot win.
When we were kids we never gave up, so why do we get bogged down by life, so easily as we grow up?
Why do we lose against a bossy colleague, or an overwhelming Manager, or a demanding spouse ?
On the face of it, things do appear tough at times, but they are no different from what you have already faced, and if you fared all them the earlier ones, well, this is just the same..
Dont bother about what you do not have, or what you cannot do, but direct your enery towards the positive , and the rest shall follow..
Life doesn’t wait for you to get back to your feet, So FIGHT !
And keep Running ..Because..Stable is stagnation..
I had this feeling, that someday, someone will observe me, and ask me to join them. That never really happened. Never in school, never in college, for if we have to make things work, we and we alone have to work towards it.
If you cannot take care of your baby, no one else will.
Born to working parents, whose job required of them to travel immensely, I practically spent half my life making friends, and the other half losing them;for I possibly changed around 9 or 10 schools in my entire Academics. Somehow the feeling of trying to mingle, and leaving behind an admired set of people never left me.
Someone who has faced it will tell you how ignominious and heart rendering it is. But things never really change. Be it school, where we kind of, find comfort in ‘herd’, or be it college where we do not wish to ‘stand out’., or be it any organisation for that matter, things never really change the human psychology. The basic human heart , the feeling of insecurity never really retreats.
And then comes another face, the job, where one seeks to find like minded people and people that can gel well with.
Look around for those subtle messages that life keeps throwing.
Life keeps throwing these messages all the while, just that like a band pass filter we tend to see things the way we want them to. If the Manager says, let’s meet after lunch, when did he say,’ You are performing bad, I want to kick you!’. Now don’t tell me your heart was not pounding after lunch.
As I grew, I really admired “unfreezing, changing , and refreezing “, concept a friend told me.
Standing in a BMTC bus, I see two kids, possibly the contenders for the dirtiest kids I had come across so far. The older girl is seated by the window and repeatedly strikes the younger girl with her elbow, as the younger one tries to grab a look from the window. The younger one looks irritated, and finally retorts back hitting. Now there are two ways any child would react, either she would cry and call the mum, or she will try to fight, completely aware that she cannot win.
When we were kids we never gave up, so why do we get bogged down by life, so easily as we grow up?
Why do we lose against a bossy colleague, or an overwhelming Manager, or a demanding spouse ?
On the face of it, things do appear tough at times, but they are no different from what you have already faced, and if you fared all them the earlier ones, well, this is just the same..
Dont bother about what you do not have, or what you cannot do, but direct your enery towards the positive , and the rest shall follow..
Life doesn’t wait for you to get back to your feet, So FIGHT !
And keep Running ..Because..Stable is stagnation..
If this is best, there sure is a better!
“To know what is good, you have to know what is bad”, exclaimed a German participant at the annual Management event at IIMB.
How true, isn’t it surprising that we all run behind things wanting the best of them all, but to know what’s best on the platter you have to try everything on the menu !
So how do I know, what’s best, for every best may have a better!
I m truly convinced that there’s no such thing as “Best”, because if there had been, it had been definitive enough, and there would sure have been contenders. I remember arguing at school, to be the best, wanting to top every class test, and assignments.
I recall how my competitions used to be my mother’s competition, for a child’s mind can be moulded to think the way, its creators want it to be. In that way,I am lucky to be born to my parents.
The greatest things start in the ‘Mind’, so if there’s this something that’s best, if at all it is, it all starts in your ‘250 gm’, topping upon your head. But to realize this most of us take all our lives, better still, for some of us will, or might never now ‘What lies within’.
Look at the wonderful men and women around yourself, and think about that one thing that took them there, no it is not Education alone, for there have been as many
Failure stories as have been successes. So what is it, is it the opportunity, the exposure, the Resources, the determination and will, the Circumstances that ‘Bring out the best of all’.
Now that I have twined all the post-requisites (I am doubtful if there exists such a word, but I intend to convey, that nonetheless, these all are important. It is the knowledge of “self”, the knowledge of being fully aware of your strengths, your Weakness, and the “Rest shall follow”.
There’s this concept of Johari window which intends to map your personality traits.I am convinced that God was only trying to be fair when he made us all different, and it is up to us, to decode that message, for which we were brought on the earth in the first place.
That doesn’t mean quitting the job, being a recluse. It just means “being aware of your cards, and playing them, when your turn comes.” Find that one thing that drives you, and life will be fun, everyday!
If you cannot take care of your baby,No one else will...
If you cannot take care of your baby, no one else will.
If someone is really consequential on this planet, that some one is you, and if you cannot take care of yourself, no one else will.
Life is like opening a speciality Restaurant where your USP (Universal selling Point) is say, diet food. So you open up to the foodies who would eat out more often, if the food be less calorific. But then you realize that the food is bland, and you could make someone tempt for a desert may be, so here it comes on your menu.
Bang, Kids come along too, there has to be this extra lavishly dressed burger too, and may be if you are catering more to a particular community, you could decide to serve “specialty food” like Punjabi, Rajasthani ,or like.
So what was your USP now becomes a platter, you have everything, sure you sell and make good profits, but you have lost your identity.
This is what happens, as you set to answer the larger question, ’What shall I do with my life. “
So whist I am stuck up with the larger question, “What shall I do with my life “,I am left clue less, more so because I feel I have always wanted to be a bit of everything I can be, so much so, that it has eventually diluted what I would primary want myself be.
People say, it’s all about being at the right place at the right time, but is there really a right place? I doubt so.
I look outside the window by my bed, the cool breeze that passes by me, and by the woods I notice a boy, somewhere in his teens, dragging his body, for he cannot walk.
And a thought crosses my mind, I have a strong mind and body, sure I do earn well, I am respected at amongst my family and peers because of this white collar job , but have I made a difference yet. I do not think so.
I have come to believe that life keeps sending in messages everyday, it is up to us to tune into them, and because we do not know when that one message that will change our life will come, so we need to keep hunting.
I am tempted to quote an expert from Steve Jobs’s , CEO Apple, commencement speech here, “You cannot connect what happens to you today, but may be years later when you try to relate to it, you will be able to connect the dots backward..
Probably you remember crying for that one sweet chap in college (I cried for loads , trust me!) , or that one company that happened to be your Dream Company in college, which you miraculously could not make, or that accident just before the V day, on your much awaited blind date. Now years later, when you are settled with a surprisingly sweet hubby, a satisfying job, and many sweet dinner dates with your Fiancé , you know what I am trying to sell.
Life ends the day you feel, you are done.
If someone is really consequential on this planet, that some one is you, and if you cannot take care of yourself, no one else will.
Life is like opening a speciality Restaurant where your USP (Universal selling Point) is say, diet food. So you open up to the foodies who would eat out more often, if the food be less calorific. But then you realize that the food is bland, and you could make someone tempt for a desert may be, so here it comes on your menu.
Bang, Kids come along too, there has to be this extra lavishly dressed burger too, and may be if you are catering more to a particular community, you could decide to serve “specialty food” like Punjabi, Rajasthani ,or like.
So what was your USP now becomes a platter, you have everything, sure you sell and make good profits, but you have lost your identity.
This is what happens, as you set to answer the larger question, ’What shall I do with my life. “
So whist I am stuck up with the larger question, “What shall I do with my life “,I am left clue less, more so because I feel I have always wanted to be a bit of everything I can be, so much so, that it has eventually diluted what I would primary want myself be.
People say, it’s all about being at the right place at the right time, but is there really a right place? I doubt so.
I look outside the window by my bed, the cool breeze that passes by me, and by the woods I notice a boy, somewhere in his teens, dragging his body, for he cannot walk.
And a thought crosses my mind, I have a strong mind and body, sure I do earn well, I am respected at amongst my family and peers because of this white collar job , but have I made a difference yet. I do not think so.
I have come to believe that life keeps sending in messages everyday, it is up to us to tune into them, and because we do not know when that one message that will change our life will come, so we need to keep hunting.
I am tempted to quote an expert from Steve Jobs’s , CEO Apple, commencement speech here, “You cannot connect what happens to you today, but may be years later when you try to relate to it, you will be able to connect the dots backward..
Probably you remember crying for that one sweet chap in college (I cried for loads , trust me!) , or that one company that happened to be your Dream Company in college, which you miraculously could not make, or that accident just before the V day, on your much awaited blind date. Now years later, when you are settled with a surprisingly sweet hubby, a satisfying job, and many sweet dinner dates with your Fiancé , you know what I am trying to sell.
Life ends the day you feel, you are done.
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